Are you there guys? It's me, Eoin.

If you thought my life revolved purely around pushing the limits of what is humanly possible in a kayak you would be 100% right to an extent. I've had a taste of the sweet, sweet treacle that is fame and I figure that my famous face (and infamous buns ;) could be used to do some good in this cruel world that you live in. I decided to devote the few minutes of "Hurst Time" I have each day to helping the needy: ugly babies, old ladies about to keel over, pathetic animals such as guinea fowl, kiwis and amputee pandas, etc.

Recently I have turned my attention to puppies, not only do they symbolise my cute and caring side, they also make for great photo opportunites which illustrate my cute and caring side. This is a picture of me frolicking about with little Sprinkledaisy, a terminally-ill golden retriever (I know, because I poisoned her). Spending time with Sprinkledaisy has really made me look at life in a different way, If she can remain upbeat and cheerful even after that crippling dose of arsenic which I administered, then surely so can I when things don't go exactly as I would have hoped.

I think there is a message here which we can all learn from: If you could try to be just a small bit more like me, you would lead an immesurably better life. Now don't say it's not attainable, although you may not have my looks or my solid gold hair, or my drive or my passion or my strength or my stamina or my physique! (woah, sorry, got a bit carried away there) you can still try, and if you fail (and let's face it, you probably will) at least you can say you failed while attempting to reach the pinnacle of perfection. I am Eoin Hurst.